


A whole f*cking meal

by Sacirin



Series: How Phan came to be [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Tour Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 09:12:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14565777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sacirin/pseuds/Sacirin
Summary: Phil had always been afraid to adress his feelings, but things might have changed lately. It's the first ii show, and Phil is feeling confindent and ready to confront them, and get what he wants.





	A whole f*cking meal

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a post that said Phil in 2018, with the quiff and everything, has realized he is a whole fucking meal,
> 
> so I thought what if-

Phil was ready. Which was an unusual thing for him. He wasn't usually very confident with his feelings, anything stressful took him some time to prepare, and he never shared too much, always in fear of the consecuences. Who said Youtube was an easy job? But now he was finally ready. He was no longer the clumsy, random, emo AmazingPhil. He was Phil Lester, a man with a full gorgeous forehead, bright red outfit, and an incredible stage show. And a best friend. Who was the cause of this train of thought in the first place. Because... He was more than a best friend.

Phil couldn't deny it anymore. He had always been the reserved one, the happy and cheerful and childish one, who didn't want to express his opinion on the Internet. Dan had always been better at dealing with the fans and the drama since the 2012 crisis (and sometimes creating even more beef, if he was being honest). Phil had always been so scared to wear his heart on his sleeve that he had convinced himself he could live a wholesome standard life. But every time he thought about his future, he always found a Dan sized hole in the picture. Dan completed him, Dan had built him up (not only the other way round), Dan was practically part of him. And he had been afraid to aknowledge it all this time. But 2017 had been the turning point. Phil had been watching in awe as Dan evolved into the best version of himself that anyone could've ever imagined. Confident, honest, stunning, cheerful, a man by himself. And that's how Phil concluded that indeed, he was in love. With his best friend.

At the beginning it was a stupid idea. Since the start of their friendship they had been something more than regular friends, though they shared things in camera to a different extent than in 2009. They had both been uncomfortable with the shipping when it started, but today, this was their best time, they mastered the Internet star lifestyle and its perks. But Phil wasn't influenced by Phan to change his mind. Dan and him held feelings for each other to some degree. That's what 10 years of close friendship and living together does. But it had taken Dan's self and public awakening for stupid oblivious Phil to notice. And suddenly he feared he was going to miss the train, that this was going to be a quick blossoming followed by whithering, or a metamorphosis into a butterfly that would fly away. He realised he wanted to clasify his feelings as love when he felt the uncontrollable urge to keep Dan close, forever with him, lounge and watch TV with him, travel the world with him, sit close to him in social gatherings, cuddle him at night, admire his inner and outter beauty, watch him play piano, laugh playing Mario Kart with him, hold his hand when he felt insecure, take care of him when he felt depressed, tell him how his heart kept beating because of him, kiss him whenever he pleased...

He had certainly fallen, and there was no escape now. And he must be the luckiest man in the universe too, because that was when the second tour idea came up. Phil hadn't been ready at the time to go over everything just two years after their first experience with touring, but he wasn't ready to think of the possibility of Dan eventually leaving him, so he accepted straight away. A little more time to guarantee Dan would stay, a little more time to gather up his thoughts, and maybe one day push his luck.

 

Now it was April 28th 2018, Brighton. After endless months of planning, writting and rehearsing, Interactive Introverts had been born. In a few hours it would take its first steps in a grand way. And Phil was ready. He looked himself in the mirror at the hotel room, “Ready.” he muttered to himself with a challenging expression in his fire-bound eyes. He was going to give the people what they wanted. He was ready for the show, and ready for telling Dan the truth. He going to get what he wanted.

They waited behind the set, microphones wired, outfits clean and crisp, music draining out the noise of chatting on the other side. It's not like they didn't have experience on this, but you're never ready for the nerves of opening a new show. They were bouncing with excitement, side by side, grinning a bit too wide.

“Oh my fucking God, this is actually happening, oh my God, Phil, we are actually about to do this!” his voice was already turning Whinnie-the-Pooh like.

“Yes, I know.” Phil said with equal enthusiasm.

“Oh God, there's no going back now. Are we ready?”

“Yes.”

“This is actually happening, I'm so happy. And so nervous.”

“Same-”

“Not sure about the shirt, does my hair look too-?”

“-You look perfect, don't worry.” Phil reached a gentle hand to soothe his fluffy curls and let it linger on his arm. He had to calm Dan's ramblings, otherwise there was a possibility of him literally backing out in the last minute. And he actually was perfect, to him and to all their fans. And he could do this, they could do this.

“You look really good too.” if there was fondness in Dan's eyes the bright neon lighting hid it.

“We are ready, starting now.” said a techie as she appeared from behind.

In the seconds that Dan turned around to say “Ok” Phil took a deep breath, and went for it. This was the only situation, (with their stage personas, right before standing in the spotlight, coerced by the sympathetic nervous system and the intravenous hit of adrenalin, supported by a boost of self-confidence) when Phil was ready.

He grabbed Dan by the collar, pulled him in, and smashed their lips together.

Though it was short and they could've just pretended it hadn't happened, it had, and it had been way better than either of their first kissing experiences. Phil pulled away just as quick and Dan looked startled, maybe even scared. Phil looked away, towards the source of the crowd rumble, and tried to act as if nothing had happened. Right then Dan's name was called and he ran through his stage entrance. The crowd roared, but not as much as they cried for Phil.

He was relieved that the show went down almost as if nothing had changed between them. Phil was ready to forget about it. Although his pride and his heart wouldn't take it so well.

 

They did it. Phil did it. And now it was over. They had just returned to their hotel room, quiet in part because of the tiredness, in part because of the awkwardness between them. Out of the many words spoken that day, none of them had adressed the elephant in the room, untill now.

Dan turned around “Phil.”

The latter just stared at him. Phil found it funny how people thought he was a delicate sweetheart, but off camera he had a dominant actitude when he needed it, he knew he was worth it and didn't censor himself. He found it even more funny how the audience thought Dan to be problematic and loud, demanding and whiny, always telling Phil off during their banters; when outside the Internet it was the other way round.

Dan looked at him with submissive puppy eyes “Are we going to act as if it didn't happen?”

“What?”

“T-the, um- the k-kiss.” Dan couldn't keep the eye contact.

“Did it bother you? Did you not want-?”

“N- um...” Dan's face was turning redder than Phil's shirt by this point. The latter knew it was difficult and really awkward to say the least, but he posed with his newly found confidence and poured his blue eyes over Dan. “I, didn't know, what-. I- like- Actually... I want-. um- Maybe if you did it again?” the last words were so quiet that Phil had to tie up loose ends.

Dan didn't look very sure or confident about his words anyway. He had said that out of curiosity, not to be rude, but he wasn't at all ready for anything. Phil blinked once, then locked his eyes to his objective, and slowly stepped up closer. Dan was trembling slightly, but he wasn't really sure why. The feeling of being pinned against the wall, was as enticing as it was sacry. His brain was having a shortcircuit about the fight or flight response, so he just stood there, excitedly waiting for the outcome. Phil reached out a hand to place in the back of his neck and the fingers on his other hand settled on his waist. The air was getting hotter and denser by the second, and Dan could feel it running out of his lungs. He wanted it as much as he feared it.

Phil tilted his head to the side and stopped just an inch apart, giving Dan the oportunity to reject him. But Dan's lips looked kissable as ever. So he closed the distance for the second time, closed his eyes and connected their lips with a fair share of passion and tenderness.

Dan was flooded with so many emotions, he feared he might have a seizure. The optimistic side of him was falling apart because he was being kissed by the hottest lad in the entire world. But his alarms and old demons were killing him, because he was being kissed by a lad, who was his best friend, who he'd had a crush on for years, who was also an Internet celebrity, and he had been shipped with.

Phil could tell Dan hadn't kissed a guy before. He was frozen even though his cheeks were on fire. Those were the most awkward yet perfect 5 seconds of his life. When Phil pulled away, he expected disgust, anger. He was faced with amazement veiled with worry.

“W-what does this mean?” Dan finally stuttered.

“It means whatever you want.” Phil was eager to kiss him again.

“B- but what about the people? What would they think? They will notice-”

“They don't matter, we can handle it.”

“But- How-? When did -? Phil, have you thought about the consecuences?”

“Yes, I did. I didn't want to face the consecuences of never doing this.” he was already leaning in when Dan grabbed his arm.

“Phil, a-are you ready for, this?”

“Yes, I'm readier that I've ever been. Dan, I need to-. Do you want me the same way I want you?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Perfect.” if Phil smiled and he found it extremely cute it wasn't his fault. He was falling again for the best person in his life, sue him.

This time they met in the middle, and Dan closed his eyes and tried to kiss back. At first they were startled by the smacking sounds that filled the air in the room with every kiss, by the clumsy way their lips moved, not quite used to each other in that particular way. But unsurprisingly they learned to leave the awkwardness behind, like they did with every other querk. They knew each other a bit too well, even though this crossed many boundaries.

“This is so wrong.” Dan muttered.

“But it feels so right.” Phil was right.

They hadn't admitted their not so platonic crushes on each other, and this felt like actual heaven. Suddenly Dan wanted nothing more than Phil, Phil and Phil. Against his lips, under his fingertips, all of it, for him. He had fallen completely to his sweet and not so sweet touches. He wrapped his hands around his waist and pulled him tight “Yes.” he said between kisses.

“What?”

“I'm ready.” he said earnestly.

Phil felt a surge of something warm and good run up his body and spring him into movement. He grabbed Dan tighter and deepened the kiss. Dan didn't hesitate to let his mouth open in response. When Phil's tongue met his, fireworks went off.

He could hardly contain himself anymore. They didn't know or care what happened outside their special little bubble. Their senses were overloaded with Phil, and Dan, and kissing, and touching, and “Yes, fucking finally”. Phil got carried away and almost unintentionally walked them back towards the bed and fell on top. His mind was spinning with all the ideas he wanted to make a reality with Dan. Suddenly he wanted the tour to be over and go back home as soon as possible. Dan moaned softly in his mouth and he thought he might faint if they continued at this rate. He moved to press kisses to Dan's neck and jawline. Once he knew the taste of human skin he couldn't stop.

“N- Don't leave a hickey.” Dan, always mindful of the repercussions.

“I'll be careful.”

“And, w-what's the plan now.”

“Give you all the kisses I've wanted but couldn't give you all this time.” Phil went as far as to hook Dan's leg up.

“Sounds good.” Dan smiled at the idea. But he meant something more serious. “Phil.”

“Dan, I love you. I'm ready to do this, whatever it means, I'm ready to be with you forever, till the end of times. I'm ready to face anything as long as you're with me.” He said it. He hadn't meant to say those words, but he meant them.

Dan stared up at him with awe and something Phil couldn't put his finger on. Then he broke into a warm smile “I love you too, Phil.” he sighed like he had been holding a breath for way too long, maybe he had been holding this for, way too long “I love you so much, and I know you know just how much. And if you are ready, I'm ready to conquer the world if necessary. If you are by my side.”

“Always.” Phil smiled fondly. He slowly cupped Dan's cheek and connected their lips once more in the softest way.

The make out got steamier from there. Dan's arms wrapped around Phil's neck. The kisses became needier, exploring each other's mouths, syncing their breathing. Hands became curious and the urge to discover every inch of their skin drove them a little further. Tentative fingers slipped under the hem of Dan's white shirt, and he let them. From that night on they were truly ready to give the people what they want.

**Author's Note:**

> There are a lot of references sprinkled here and there, cause I can't contain myself. If you find them all you win a free ii ticket! (Disclaimer: it's an invisible ticket, so it only works in your imagination)


End file.
